Beth Podcast
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Emily: [00:00:00] welcome to episode number 161 of the Brave Widow Show. Today I talk with Beth, a widow and a life coach who shares her story of transformation. But before we dive into her story, I just wanna make sure that you know that if you're listening to this fairly real time, the doors to the Brave Widow Academy are open now.
Our first Brave Widow Academy session starts on Monday, August 11th, and I would love to see you there. In this program in the academy, you'll learn how to go from lost to clear, from unsure to confident, and from incredibly lonely to connected. I'll teach you everything that you need to know about your journey through the four seasons of grief and exactly what to focus on at each stage, at each season that will help you [00:01:00] heal and be able to take that next step forward.
This is my invitation to you to step into this next version of yourself, this next version of creating a life that you can actually love again.
I think you're really gonna enjoy the conversation that Beth and I have in today's podcast episode. And what I really want you to pay attention to is how Beth focuses on the importance of making a decision, the importance of deciding that you wanna change your life, that you don't wanna live like this anymore. What would have been different for her if she would have just given it time? If she would've just kept waiting? I ask her this question, Beth, how would your life have looked differently if instead of deciding to do something different, you just waited until you felt ready, you [00:02:00] waited until you were confident.
So you'll get to hear her answer to that question. And my question for you is the same. What about waiting? What about feeling ready? What about feeling comfortable? What about that is going to change your life versus what if you just decided, what if you decided to rebuild your life that you didn't wanna live like this anymore?
You wanted to embrace something that's better than you can even imagine right now, something that maybe feels even impossibly far away, or maybe you don't even know if it's possible. I'm here to encourage you that it is. But the only way you get to discover that is by taking a step of faith forward.
My invitation to you is to decide to join the academy. This is the perfect time to join. I still have some bonuses that are going, and the [00:03:00] way that you can join is by going to brave widow.com. If you want some help walking through your decision, if you want to learn more about how this program could specifically help you, and what I would recommend that you focus on, you can also schedule a consult.
It's free. There's no pressure, and you'll get the action plan. You'll get the steps and the things that I would encourage you to focus on over these next six months as we walk together in this program. All right. Let me introduce you to Beth and we'll dive into her story. Beth is a certified life coach and transition specialist who helps people 40 plus, who are done surviving and are ready to start living again.
She offers a free 45 minute consult where she would examine very aspects of your life and identify areas in which you are seeking greater satisfaction. You can find Beth at Beyond Coaching by beth.com and I have all the links to her handles [00:04:00] and website here in the show notes.
Alright, let's dive in.
Welcome to The Brave Widow Show. I'm your host, Emily Tanner. The Brave Widow Academy is open for enrollment right now. If you're a widow, feeling stuck, lost or just ready to start living again, but don't know where to start, this is your next step. It's the only program that gives you a clear proven process to rebuild your identity, your confidence, and your life after loss.
To learn more or to enroll today, just head to bravewidow.com/academy. I'll see you on the inside. Beth, thank you for coming on the show today and being willing to share your story.
Beth: Oh, thank you so much for having me.
Emily: Yes, absolutely. I know our audience would love to hear more about you and your story and really maybe even why you've [00:05:00] taken the journey that you have and the career change that you have.
So I will let you jump into your story wherever you'd like to start.
Beth: Okay, great. So my name is Beth and I'm a certified life coach and transition specialist. Haven't always been a, been that that's a recent move for me. But it all started really with me in November of 2019. My husband passed away unexpectedly. In November, unfortunately, on my birthday, he had taken a prescription medication that turned toxic, and unfortunately, after 13 days in the hospital and 11 in ICU, his body just could not fight anymore. So it was a very traumatic experience. And as we all know, in 2020 COVID hit my husband passed away in November, and then a few short months later, COVID hit. And [00:06:00] during that timeframe, after COVID hit, I spent the next two years working virtually in near isolation and grieving. There were. Days, months. I really don't remember. I know I got up, went through the motions, logged online worked and did all that.
But it was such an experience. It was such an impactful experience. But I know anybody that goes through. Widowhood of any kind. It just, the upheaval in your life is traumatic. I did that in COVID at the same time, so I had a lot of time to really self-reflect in ways that I had never had the opportunity to do.
I would tell people. You know that sometimes it was like, it was the best of times, it was [00:07:00] the worst of times, and that's the best way I could explain it, is that it really gave me the opportunity to isolate myself. And I'm admittedly, I'm, I can overachieve at that, but sometimes, and I know that and I'm self-aware enough to recognize that and know that, I actively work on that.
When everything happens, people, they, they tend to overprotect and want to check in on you. And I'm a very independent person anyway, but it gave me the opportunity to sit back and really think about where I was in life and what I wanted. And during that time I spent a lot of time reading.
One of the things I should mention too is that, shortly before my husband passed away we had sold our main property and built a house at the beach in preparation for retirement. And since we had some time till we could retire, we could downsize to a condo in the Washington DC area, which was 825 square feet.
So [00:08:00] very small limited outdoor space. And I also suffered from autoimmune conditions, which made me extremely high risk during COVID. So I had to be very careful of interacting physically with people as well. So I spent a lot of time reading. I spent a lot of time learning about myself, and I stumbled across a book, and the topic was coaching.
Never heard of coaching before beyond like sports coaching, right? I knew what that was. And so I started doing a little investigation and ironically a I got former colleague of mine popped up in my Facebook feed and she had made the leap into career and leadership coaching and I got very curious and so I reached out to her and after having some discussions with her, learned a little bit more about coaching.
Fast forward a couple years and we [00:09:00] returned to work in person. And so that was in, I'm gonna say April of 2022. And then shortly thereafter, even though I was double vaccinated, as was the protocol. I did get COVID and I got very sick. And so then I really started thinking about my life and I realized what I was doing at the time didn't really align to any of my values, my goals, my objectives.
It just wasn't fulfilling me anymore, and I was just hesitant as to where do I go next? I really have no idea. What the next step is for me. And so I contemplated for a really, I knew this wasn't it, and I knew where I was absolutely wasn't it, but I had no idea what the future looked like.
And I started [00:10:00] doing a lot of research and talking to different people, and I quickly realized. That I wanted to help people like me move from not the initial grieving process, I call the deep grieving process. 'cause I think that's a different portion of the journey. And, but when you get to the point where you start lifting your head and you, the fog starts clearing.
You start trying to figure out, okay, where do I go from here? Who am I now? I am no longer a we, I'm a me. I, I have to figure out this journey on my own. And I can remember looking around and thinking, look at all these people that have done this. This has happened to I'm certainly not the only one.
And then I started looking up statistics and I'm like, but look at all these people that have done this, but yet, why can't I figure this [00:11:00] out? And so I started feeling like a little defeated, that here I was, this smart person people, somebody that people looked up to, but yet I couldn't figure out how to live the rest of my life, and I couldn't even figure out how to take that next first step.
Emily: Okay. Yeah. That. I think this is such a great place to pause because I really want people to understand what you experienced over those first couple of years. A lot of times. Widows will lose their social circle within the first year. And essentially with COID, you lost it overnight. Geographically in your area, you were probably in one of the tightest lockdown requirement areas that we had.
Yes. And between that and then your physical condition, it was risky in many ways to interact with people. And I can't, I [00:12:00] know. When we experience a traumatic event like losing our spouse, our anxiety goes up. We're just afraid any one little thing will be devastating. And so I can't even really imagine the mindset of if I order groceries, do I sanitize 'em and then bring 'em in?
If I, how do I logistically. Survive and not go crazy while I'm in this, small space. And then you are able to come to a place where I think many widows come to, which is okay, I am, I'm two years a year, I'm two years out. And the number one question that you said so eloquently is the number one question I get asked, which is what am I supposed to do next?
Yeah I did the therapy, I did grief recovery or grief share, but is this it? And so take us further down your journey of how did you figure it out. [00:13:00] You are a very smart person. So how did you figure out what your next step should be?
Beth: I can, I, I distinctly remember waking up. On February 14th, 2023, Valentine's Day and I woke up, logged on my computer and just decided I can't do this anymore.
This. This is not living, this is moving day to day. This is existing, but this is not living my life. This is not being happy. This is not embracing my passion. This is not finding my joy. It's none of that. This is just putting a check in the box. And so I sat down and really like I built a huge spreadsheet and then.
I decided then that I was going to give myself six months to [00:14:00] figure it out, and so I had a target date of August 31st, 2023. And so what I ended up doing was I built a big spreadsheet. I got in contact with my financial advisor. We, we had a conversation. I said, this is what I'm thinking. But from there I went into research mode and I decided at that time what I really wanted to do was become a life coach, certified life coach, and help people navigate forward and.
Recognizing that everybody's journey is different 'cause we are all unique people. We have all had unique situations, but recognizing that also their path may be different than mine. Their path is just as personal and important to them as well. And so for me, it started with finding what I felt was [00:15:00] my soul's purpose and the rest of the pieces started to fall into place.
So I made a commitment to myself. So I continued working for six months. I gave myself that timeline. And during that timeline I researched. Where I was gonna get certifi, where I was gonna get my certification, how long it was gonna take. I realized that where I was living, while many would've found it desirable it was a very up and coming community for me.
It had felt like a prison, right? And so it was time for me to cut ties with my present. The other thing I realized was that, because of COVID and because of the unique circumstances associated with me with COVID. I literally went for that two years really included my family for the most part as well.
I had elderly parents. I saw my sister. I know initially I, I think it was, I didn't see her for nine [00:16:00] months. After, and she was the first person in my family I saw after COVID started. Wow. And so I realized that I physically wanted to relocate. And I started looking for, where I wanted to live, what were the things I wanted.
At that point in my life, I wanted to move closer to my family after having been, solo for so long. And, having, and it really hit me that, I got COVID several times and each time it gets successively worse and, I realized that, I needed my people around me for emergencies that, for them, to drive, even though it was about 60 miles in the metro Washington DC area, 60 miles can take five hours, depending on the time of day. And so I really decided that it started with the, what I wanted to do, and then the other pieces started falling into place. And so I decided [00:17:00] that, found a piece of property. I decided I was going to build small house and location. Surprisingly, the fiscal house wasn't as important to me as some of the exterior attributes, and I found a piece of property that back to a creek. And sat up high and I could see the mountains and I didn't really care much about the house as long.
I had four walls, all the things I needed. It's a small house, I don't need much. And I decided even without having left my job and stuff, I signed all the paperwork and decided I'm going to do this. I decided I was going back to school. I was gonna do this little life coaching thing. And so on.
August 31st, true to plan. I left my job with the federal government. I walked away two weeks later. I went to Greece for two weeks. Had the [00:18:00] best time came back packed up all my stuff. And then moved into my new house on October 13th enrolled. My Life coaching certification program in December.
Finished all the coursework and got certified in December, 2024, and launched my business in January of 2025. And here I am sitting here talking to you six months later, and I can honestly tell you, no regrets. This was absolutely the best thing for me to do for me at this point in my life. And the other thing I kind of wanna stress too is that everybody looked at me like I was crazy.
My family, my friends, they're like, what are you doing? You're leaving a federal job, or you're making all kinds of money. You have all these great benefits, and you have your life path in front of you. I'm like, yeah, but it's just not [00:19:00] my thing anymore. I don't wanna do this anymore. And so here I am again.
Six months later. And I'm now a certified life coach. I'm beyond coaching by beth.com, actually beyond life coaching by beth.com. And right now I work with people, widow people, mostly 40 plus, who are ready to start living and move on from existing guilt free. And that's important, guilt free.
'cause so many of us, we harbor this guilt around. The death of our partner. I know for me at least, it's just and there's all kinds of guilt and none of it really is warranted. It took me a long time to figure that out, that, what happened, but I didn't cause that to happen.
I didn't wish that to happen, and God forbid, he lost his life in a horrific way. But it also happened to me, and once I got past, the [00:20:00] feeling like a victim and the anger and the guilt, I started to learn so much more about myself, which kind of ultimately led to the whole journey.
Emily: I love that.
And I know there's gonna be some people watching and listening that are like, oh she could travel to Greece and she built a house and she makes it sound so easy. Like she just knew, this is my destiny, this is where I'm going. And you and I both know that I wasn't even on the journey with you, and I know it was not that easy.
So help. Help some of our audience members. As you are, essentially, you're navigating the unknown, you're taking action. Even though there was probably fear and doubt of am I making the right decision? What if I decide wrong? What if this? What if that, our brains can just torment us with all the what ifs [00:21:00] and the doubts and like you said, the feelings of guilt and am I just distracting myself?
How did you. Decide that you were going to move forward, whether it was traveling or building a house, or changing career, like you changed so much in your life. How did you stay grounded and as peaceful as possible with, this is my decision. I know I'm gonna have doubts, but I'm just gonna keep moving forward.
Beth: I dub the whole process. I quit my life. 'Cause it fun, it felt like I did. And I think it really came back to, oh, I doubted myself. I was terrified. What happens if this doesn't work out, then what do I do? But, I really sat back and I thought I know what is definitely not working.
It's this is not how I want to live my life. This is [00:22:00] not living my life. This is not living on my terms. And so what I didn't know what the future helped. I had enough, I guess it came down to that's how do I answer that question? Part of it comes down to confidence in myself and that no matter what, I'm a survivor.
I've survived the worst already. It, it, I've worked a long time. I'm not, I wasn't in a situation where I had young kids to worry about, and I have the utmost respect of anybody that's in that situation and has to figure it out. But it was just me. All I had to take care of was me.
And I knew that as I said, I built a spreadsheet and I knew that financially I was okay for X amount of time. If I played my cards right and I was very smart, so it was a very calculated and strategic decision as well. [00:23:00] So it wasn't as if I just willy-nilly, rolled the dice. There was a lot of thought and foresight that went into it.
And then, there were some things along the way as well in that I put some boundaries and limitations in place for myself. For instance, I had a property in the Washington DC area, which is a very high cost of living place to live, and it was in a desirable area. And so I knew that the next property, because of this massive change in my life that I was making, that I could only take proceeds the profits.
From the other property, and that was as much as I had to spend on the new property. So essentially I took the profits and paid for the next property in full, so I would be mortgage free. So I did, I took some very calculated risks like that along the [00:24:00] way, but it really just came down to
I wanted to be happy. I was stuck. I was miserable. And I wanted to be happy. And, I had some childhood friends still in the area that I moved back to. Some of them had also lost their spouses unexpectedly. So it was a matter of there was my family. And then there was also a sense of finding some of my people where we were going through this journey together.
So as you said, in our prior conversation, you lose your identity when you lose your spouse, right? You lose your social circle, you lose your connections. And so it was, to me, it felt more like a coming home. After a long journey, and that was the deciding factor. And I was like, what's the worst that can happen?
I have skills, I'll [00:25:00] figure something out, but if I don't try this, I always wonder what if, and the what if. 10 years down the road wasn't a gamble I was willing to take. And this has been absolutely the hardest thing I've ever done. Learning how to live life on my own, throwing in the town, quitting my life, going back to school.
I'm almost 60 years old. I went back to school at 58. I had to do book reports. I was like, I haven't done a book report in 30 years, and it was a full-time job going back to school.
Emily: Yeah, and I think what I really want the audience to hear in this too, because. Everybody can say my circumstance is different.
And as you mentioned, yes, that's true, but one thing that remains consistent is that you can take [00:26:00] action and have confidence that you'll figure it out. Yeah. It's not confidence that the fear isn't there or that it's gonna be easy or that you have all the answers. Being resourceful and knowing that you can figure it out along the way, and if something goes wrong, you'll figure out a solution.
Beth: YI asked my myself that many times, what's the worst that can happen? And the only answer I could ever come back with, you've already lived through the worst. It can only get better. And that's what kept propelling me forward. Now is the way I approached it, the way another person would approach it?
Probably not. You have to be resourceful. You have to figure out what is that thing, and then the confidence. Take the leap. Go for it. Because you don't, as I said, you don't wanna come back in 10 years, 20 years, [00:27:00] however long it takes, and regret. And I also know, and I think this is very important to pass along to your audience as well, that you only get so many opportunities in life to take that chance.
And so I knew that it was now or never, so I thought if I don't do it now, I will never do it. And. It was important to me. It was also a matter of proving to myself, this is part of being that brave widow persona, that this is me standing up and taking charge of life on my terms.
Emily: Yeah. And that was empower. Yes. I love that because I hear from so many people like, oh, I just need to keep waiting. I'm just, I'm waiting to feel ready. I'm waiting to feel comfortable. I'm waiting to just [00:28:00] feel better. So what do, what would have been different if, let's say in 2022 or 2023? You decided that you were just gonna keep waiting to feel better, waiting to, for your house not to feel like a prison anymore.
Like how different would your life be if you hadn't taken the leap, if you hadn't made those changes?
Beth: That's a good question. So waiting.
I think I decided I was done waiting. I think that was the key, that nothing's gonna land in my lap. Nobody's gonna come and give me and wave a magic wand and say everything that happened, is gonna unh that magic wand, life is gonna be perfect. You're never gonna have to worry about.
The future or anything associated with taking care of yourself? 'cause that's not the case, right? It was up to me to take care of [00:29:00] me. But taking care of me meant taking care of me financially, meant taking care of me health-wise, taking care of me mentally, taking care of me emotionally, and taking care of me spiritually.
And I felt like the two I had under control. I knew that, I had, resources for X amount of time where I was lacking was the mental, emotional, and spiritual. And so nobody was gonna show up and present those things to me. It was like. Throughout the process, like the whole COVID thing.
And my husband passed away. All I ever heard was, you are so strong, and I kept on thinking to myself only they really knew how broken I really am at this point in my life. I was strong 'cause I had to get up, I had to do it. But waiting, no [00:30:00] waiting was no longer an option for me.
It was time for me. And it, like I said, it's a, it was about empowering myself. It's about, as I said, it was now or never, and it was like standing on the edge of a cliff, looking over with no safety net. And trust me, I talked myself out of it many times. Many times I sat up and wrote lists why this was not a good idea, but when it ultimately came down to why it was a good idea, the only thing I could really come up with that summed it all up is.
What's gonna make you happy?
I chose happy.
Emily: Yeah. You didn't wait until you felt ready. You didn't wait until you had all the answers or knew exactly what the plan and the path was gonna look like. But you knew you wanted more than the life that you were [00:31:00] living or really existing in.
Beth: Yeah. I knew. Waiting for the perfect time, waiting for all the answers, waiting, overthinking, analysis, paralysis by analysis.
I, it was a part of self-awareness as well, recognizing that I was there and the only way to break out was for me to do it. I had some people that were. I told them, I think part of it too is I spoke my plan out loud. I started telling people and that was huge.
'cause I'm one of those people that says, if I say something, I'm gonna do something, then I do it. So there was a little bit of pride in there as well. Was it okay, I've gone off and I've spout it off that I'm gonna do these things. Some people were doubtful, others were like, Hey, you go girl, do your thing.
But one of the things for me that was huge [00:32:00] was I ran my big mouth and that was a form of accountability in a way that, I really think had I not said it out loud, I may have faltered a little or a lot, but no, I was determined. I said it out loud and I'm gonna make this happen. So I did.
Emily: I love the self-awareness, like I know I need to do this because it's like self-accountability. If I speak it, I know I will follow through. So tell if you don't mind, tell, share who are your best ideal clients of people that you work with. How would people know that you are the right coach for them?
Beth: So I think for my ideal clients I would say 40 plus years of age. Again I don't have children and I didn't have that aspect to deal with. And for those that do, my [00:33:00] heart breaks for you. But I don't feel though I can connect with you on that level. So my ideal clients are 40 plus. And.
Past what I call the deep grieving stage. I think that's an animal in and of itself and I'm very respectful of that. I also believe that phase is as long as you need it to be right, and that, that phase, that deep grieving is for you to define and you to define alone, and nobody can tell you.
When it's time for you to come out of that face, but those when you are ready to move from, okay. I've been through this horrible thing. My life is never gonna be the same, and it's not. I, that's just the reality of it. And I'm not trying to be harsh, but accepting that and being aware of that.
Is a big part of the [00:34:00] process of moving forward, right? It's not gonna be the same. And then trying to determine those people that are ready to take that, that next step, don't really know what that next step is, right? And so I've told you a little bit about my journey and maybe my journey is not the same for you.
Maybe you're not in the same circumstance. But I think part of that next step is really just finding your passion, right? That one thing that is for you. And maybe for you it might be
for instance, taking a language class or something that is distinctly on you. And then the other thing is finding out. So one of the things I offer clients is an energy assessment. So I am master practitioner certified in energy assessments. And when you think about energy in this context it's really about how [00:35:00] you show up.
In everyday situations versus how you show up in stressful situations and the energy assessment is attitudinal. It's not personality driven. We hear about all these other assessments you hear about in the corporate world, Myers breaks, et cetera, et cetera. Those are personality.
Attitudinal is and the difference is that personality is. You're born with a personality. Attitudinal is how you see things, right? So if you wear blue colored glasses, things, in blue. And the advantage to that is attitudes can be changed. If you're open and willing, I invite you to take an attitudinal assessment.
'cause once you, again, you have that awareness, then you have the choice as to, is that how I wanna show up? You can make that conscious choice and once you have that knowledge, so there's that aspect of it, but it's really those people that just really wanna move forward. They want to [00:36:00] rediscover their joy and happiness.
They want to reclaim their identity. They want to live life with a sense of purpose and fulfillment and experience, peace and harmony. And there's no one magic formula for anybody. Everybody's formula is different. Sometimes it's a matter of trial and error but it's the willingness to really embrace your next chapter and having somebody help you, encourage you, support you in a safe space, free of judgment.
It can be instrumental in helping you take those steps and and fear. Oh yeah. Fear is a big part of it. I'm not gonna deny that fear is out there. It's scary and, recogni recognizing those fears and addressing those fears is a big part [00:37:00] of, being able to. Take those steps and embrace the next journey and chapter of your life.
Emily: Yeah. That's really good insight. And how could people find you if they resonate with your story, they wanna work with you, they wanna reach out to you, what's the best way for them to do that?
Beth: There's a couple different ways. The best ways are you can find me at Beth at Beyond Coaching by beth.com.
That's my business email address. My website is www.beyondcoachingbybeth.com. You can find me at Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at, pretty much the same handles. And I offer discovery calls. I offer what. Is known as a Wheel of Life assessment. And so I offer those as complimentary services to help you see whether or not get a [00:38:00] better understanding of what, my coaching approach is.
And whether or not, you find value in that. And the Wheel of Life is essentially looking at the eight major areas of your life and determining your satisfaction level. In those different areas and maybe providing some insights as to, huh, maybe these are areas that I could work on. Or maybe ask yourself questions as to, why am I only ranking myself at this level in this particular category?
And it could be insightful, maybe, open up avenues for exploration that you hadn't thought about before.
Emily: Yeah. Awesome. Thank you for sharing that and for anyone watching or listening all of Beth's links and her handles will be in the show notes. So if you're at a point where you can't write 'em down or go find her right now, then you can always look back at those and find them then.
So Beth, thank you so much again for joining and [00:39:00] sharing your story and how you help other people. I enjoyed having you on the show.
Beth: Thank you so much for having me. Good luck to all of you out there.
The Brave Widow Academy is open now, and it's where I help widows just like you move from surviving to living with a proven path coaching and a community of other widows who get it. If you're ready to take the next step, go to brave widow.com/academy to join us. I'll see you on the inside.
