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Emily: [00:00:00] Hey, hey, and welcome to episode number 82 of the brave widow show today. I'm going to share with you Darlene's story. And as I was sitting here recording her intro thinking about what I wanted to say, I was reading over her bio and at the end of her bio, it says, I'm here to say with intention, there is hope.
And I'm sure I breezed over it when I read it when she first submitted it, but as I was sitting here preparing to record, and I read that in her bio, that caused me to take pause and sit back. And I thought, how well she has said that. With intention, there is hope. Being a widow can be so isolating, lonely, you can feel like you're just drifting aimlessly with nowhere to go.
And the [00:01:00] way she has said, this is just so well said, if you have intention where there is intention, where there is vision, you have hope.
This actually reminded me of a couple of Bible verses that I want to share with you because I think it just ties in so beautifully. So the first one is Proverbs 29, 18. And the first part of that verse says where there is no vision, the people perish. I think I've used this verse a lot in leadership and in talking with my team and the topic of leadership and my vision casting is so important, but I think it's also super important to us as widows because as widows, we need hope.
To feel like we can move forward, we need a vision of what is possible. That was one of the biggest things for me was being able to see other widows that [00:02:00] were happy again, that we're rebuilding lives that felt like they had purpose and meaning and I didn't know how that was possible. Like, I could not.
Fathom how I was going to move from where I was to where it looked like they were, but having that vision, having that picture of what is possible gave me hope. So as Darlene says with intention, there is hope with vision. There is hope that's possible. It also reminded me of another Bible verse, Proverbs 13, 12, that says, hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.
When I first lost Nathan, I realized very quickly how a surviving spouse could die of a broken heart. There's literally something called a broken heart syndrome. When you are so sad. [00:03:00] and hopeless and life feels pointless that your heart is literally physically hurting and ultimately That is something that you can die from.
So I knew early on that I didn't want to live a life without hope. I didn't want to live a life without vision. And as this verse reminds us, if you have no hope, if you have no vision, you will perish, you will become heart sick, heart broken. Your spirit will be crushed another verse Proverbs 17 22 a joyful heart is good medicine But a crushed spirit dries up the bones and that may be some of you Listening today.
You may feel like there is no hope you may think to yourself. Well, what is the point? You may think that Every good thing is also going to be overshadowed by sadness and [00:04:00] grief But I want to encourage you and give you hope that it isn't always, it doesn't always have to be that way. Now you can choose to continue to live life that way.
And that may offend some of you because you may think, well, I'm not choosing this. It's just happening to me. And yes, the loss of your spouse did happen to you. And it's a terrible, awful thing. And it's a terrible process to endure. But you choose whether or not you want to be proactive and healing and whether or not you want to move forward and whether or not You want to live a life of intention a life with a vision and maybe you don't know where to look for that Well, guess what you're here.
You are watching or listening to the brave widow show Where you get to hear stories of other widows who have done it, of other widows who are living life again, who are [00:05:00] looking to the future with hope, and you get to see real live examples of people that are filled with hope, who are living a beautiful life.
And even if you don't know exactly how to get there, it is something you're doing with intention. It is something that's giving you a vision so that you can. Start to rebuild your life and your future again. All right. So let me introduce you to Darlene. Darlene is a mother to two amazing teenage boys.
She married her high school sweetheart at 19 and became a widow two days after her 39th birthday. She had almost 23 years with him and now three years without him. She's learned how to power through when her whole world seemed over in the blink of an eye. It's by far the hardest journey she's ever had to overcome, but she is still here to say [00:06:00] with intention, there is hope.
All right, let's dive into Darlene's story.
Emily Jones: Welcome to The Brave Widow Podcast. I'm your host, Emily Jones. We help young widows heal their heart, find hope, and dream again for the future.
Emily: Hey, hey, welcome to another episode of the brave widow show. I'm so excited to share this episode with you today and to have Darlene, a special guest of the show and Darlene, thank you so much for coming and welcome to the show. Thank you. Thank you for having me.
Darlene Firlein: Uh, yeah, I thought I'd share my story a little bit.
Um, it is. So, okay. So, back when I was 16, I worked at a pizza place after school almost every day. And then [00:07:00] this handsome man, you know, comes in, applies for the delivery job. And, um, at the time my boss, we were not hiring, but I told my boss, you can cut my hours back. I will you know, whatever it takes, you got to hire him.
And he's like, really? I was like, yeah. So he did, and I don't think it was because of me, I think because somebody else quit, but that's beside the point.
Emily Jones: What made, what made you say that? Like, what made you voluntarily take a pay cut? Was he just a good looking guy? You felt like they needed more delivery services.
What was it?
Darlene Firlein: Yeah, it was completely selfish. And on my end, I thought it was super handsome. There was something about his eyes. Um, I just want to get to know him. I really want to get to know him. So, yeah, there was just something we just had that connection, you know, that eye contact that it was just.
Yeah, I don't want to be cheesy and say love at 1st sight, but yeah, I think there, there was definitely something [00:08:00] there. So, um, yeah, so we build a friendship because, I mean, we, you know, we're both dating other people. So we were actually friends for a while as we work together and, you know, 1 thing led into another.
So then. you know, a year later, we started dating and it was just picture perfect. Everything clicked. Well, you know, we couldn't get enough of each other. It was just like in a movie where, you know, you just want that, but don't think it's real. And until it actually happens, it's pretty, pretty phenomenal.
So we, uh, at that time he had. Dropped out of high school and I was still in high school. So I had talked to a couple of my favorite teachers for senior year. If he could somehow come back and we could graduate together and a couple of teachers made it happen. You had to take a few a few classes to get credits and we graduated together [00:09:00] and graduated high school together.
It was. It was really awesome. Of course, I got, you know, some brownie points from his parents on that 1, but so, yeah, then, you know, it wasn't long, uh, graduated and most people were planning for their senior week, but we were planning our wedding. so, yeah, I was 19 when we got married and it was, you know, amazing.
Perfect. Uh, I was 22 when my 1st son was born 26 with the 2nd 1. it was just. Yeah, everything was going so well. It was fantastic. Um, I noticed when my 2nd child was born, though, that something was different with him. Um, I couldn't pinpoint it. I kind of thought that maybe it was cheating on me, but it wasn't that, um, and I found out that he [00:10:00] was.
You know, using drugs, sneaking behind my back and using, um, it took me a long time to figure that out. I was kind of losing myself in it trying to figure out what it was because he was sneaking around and he was being out late and he was hanging out with. You know, not the people that he would normally hang out with, and it was just confusing and he was pushing me away in a sense of just closing me off and didn't want to engage really, um, you know, with family stuff and that went on for a long time until it got to the point where it was.
It just got so bad. And then, um, he finally admitted that he needed rehab. So I found him a rehab to go into and it was, you know, super devastating as you have a, a 4 year old and a new newborn. And well, at that time. You know, the newborn was probably a couple of years old. Everything's blurry on exactly like, what [00:11:00] year and how old the kids were, how old we were at that point.
But, yeah, so, you know, we had a really good, strong 10 years. That was like, picture perfect. And then all of a sudden get hit with with this and it was really hard to take in, uh. But anyway, so it really again, I don't remember how many times or the years or where we were, but in and out of rehab and out of jail, like, it got, he would come out and be better and then it would happen again.
And, you know, I lived for what he was doing, and if he was well, of course, trying to, of course, still be a mom at that point too. But, uh, you know, I, I lost myself in it and, um, you know, finally, it got to the point where. You know, fast forward years and years, we were with each other for 22 years. So, um, I guess the last, you know, the last 10 years, it was off and on off and on.
And then the last 5 years [00:12:00] is was, you know, really bad. And it was, you know, he was in it heavily. And you know, we had financial issues, obviously, because he was. Spending money where he shouldn't be. And I thought he was paying bills when he wasn't. And, you know, my car got repossessed at the time and, you know, he, it was just, it was a mess, it was, um, devastating, but of course you love your person and you want to help them, but.
Not knowing at the time he has to be willing to help himself. Um, so, yeah, as he kept going in and out of rehabs and in and out of jail, it just was like a hamster wheel that just kept happening. He would be sober for a little bit.
Emily Jones: And and how are your family and friends, you know, during this time? Were they supportive of you?
Are they saying like, oh, you need to get away from this? You know, leave this guy. Like, what was that experience? Like, as you're trying to just navigate this? Probably seemingly helpless, you know, Experience.
Darlene Firlein: Yeah, [00:13:00] there was, there was some obviously just, you know, didn't understand and it's like, you know, I don't get it.
I was like, well, no, and then we had some family members who just cut themselves. Out of our lives, uh, we had, you know, some people who, wanted to tell us tell me exactly how to handle it and what to do. And it's just wasn't that simple. So you had all these different aspects. Um, I definitely had some good people around me, too, who are extremely supportive and just kind of supported me and whatever was going on, not having an opinion 1 way or the other, which is what I needed.
So that definitely, yeah, it's when you're in it, though, it's like a whirlwind. You don't you're just doing it. To do it, you don't, it's like, I have to do this, you know, I have to, for my kids and for, you know, as in they're growing up and my, you know, older 1 sees more [00:14:00] than and understands more than he probably should.
And, you know, the younger 1 was still young enough to not really understand. And, you know, as a mom you try to protect them and not, want them to know everything anyway. So, yeah, it was just a lot and then, you know, working on top of it and. Yeah, um, it was, it was a lot. So then I got to the point where I started, I was in Al Anon meetings.
I was in therapy, trying to help myself so I can continue to help my kids, my boys. Um, because I learned in Al Anon, you can't. Help them, you have to, we have to help ourselves. So I, you know, try to focus on that and still go out with my friends or go out with my, you know, sisters or, you know, hang out with my family or take the boys somewhere, even if he didn't want to go, because most of the time he didn't want to get [00:15:00] to the point where he didn't want to be involved in anything because it was so caught up in using.
So, yeah, I got to the point where I was just like. I want to do my own thing and a couple of years of that, and it felt a little empowering. It's like, okay, you know, I can worry about me and just worry about the boys and try not to focus on him so much, even though that's what I did for so many years.
But September 13th is my birthday and I love the beach. So my sister and I, we had, we both love the beach. So we decided that we did it for a couple of years and then, you know, and then we did it. But then it was like, you know what? We're going to the beach again this year, no matter what he does, what he's saying, what he's doing.
Let's take the kids to the beach. Um, her daughter is the same age as my youngest son. So they all get along really well. We did. We had a great time. We were just going[00:16:00] for, a long weekend, I think, or just a regular week. I don't even remember the days, but I think it was a weekend and, we had the, we had a blast.
I didn't consume myself and what he was doing what he was thinking. We talked, you know, I talked on the phone with my husband a couple of times. He talked to the boys a couple of times. Good night. I love you and the day that we were coming home. So, 2 days later, yeah, we left the 13th came on the 15th when I woke up that morning on the 15th.
It was a gut feeling like I never had before I felt sick, but not sick. Like, oh, my gosh, I have the flu sick. Like, something is happening. So I kept trying to call my husband. He wasn't picking up the phone and I just, I had a feeling that was it. Um. He had, he, he had overdosed prior to that when I was at work and my kids had to call 911 because they couldn't wake him [00:17:00] up, um, 5 years prior to this event.
And it was just like, it was all coming back again. Like, all that the same kind of feelings my sister. I was trying to play it off because I didn't want my kids to know exactly right. Then waking up at the beach and, oh, let's do this. Let's do that. Let's go here. Let's go there. And I was just like. Yeah. Um, you know what, guys, it's time to pack up.
We got to go home. And my sister drove. I didn't even drive. And she's like, no, let's do this first. Let's do that first. And I was like, no, we have to go home right now. And I still didn't want to say why, because I didn't want it to be a reality. And I didn't want it to be true. I just wanted to get home to find out.
So as we were driving home, my gut instincts got stronger and stronger and stronger. I was like, I can't, we were, you know, two, two and a half hours away. I couldn't wait that long. So I called my neighbor and I asked her if she was home and she's like, yeah, what's going on? I told her I was kind of whispering in [00:18:00] the phone because we're in the car at this time.
I'm whispering to her, you know, something's not right. There's just, can you just go check on Tim for me? Please? Um, I said, are the vehicles there? And she said, yes. I said, would you mind going over and knocking on the door, you know, ringing the doorbell or whatever. Um, she's like, no problem. So she has me on the phone and she's ringing the doorbell, banging on the door.
I hear the dogs going crazy. She's like, there's no answer. And I was like, well, I know he's home. I said, but do you have your boys with you? And, and her boys were younger. And she's like, I do. And I said, nevermind. That's, that's all I want you to do. I have such a bad feeling about this. I don't want your boys to be involved in any of this.
It's okay. You know, it's. Um, I'm going to call the cops and she's like, I'll, I'll take the boys home. She's like, don't call the cops yet. What do you want me to do? I said, there's a code to the garage. So you can use the code to get in. And she did that after she took her [00:19:00] boys home and came back by herself, but the code wouldn't work, which he has done that in the past to, he would disconnect the code when he's using.
So nobody can see him actually doing it. So, uh, she says it's not working. And I said. Okay, thank you so much for trying. I said, I am going to call the police to do a wellness check. So, I did that and I also have, like, the ring camera doorbells on my phone. So, after I called the police and told them what was going on, they were here in minutes.
And they couldn't get in and I said, well, I know he's there and just get in. However, you can the dogs are going to bark and they're, you know, they're going to bark at you, but get in. I know he's there go through a window. Do what you have to do. So I saw them through the cameras pacing, going in and out and then I heard the voices of the police officers.
Where's the wife? What do [00:20:00] you know? Why did we get this call? What's going on? How, how did she know? Why isn't she here? And I kept the guilt. So they wouldn't tell me anything over the phone. So I knew it was bad.
And then the kids started seeing the cops at her house
through the cameras on my phone. And they're like, mom, what's going on? What's going on? And I said, I called them. Uh, dad wasn't answering his phone. So I asked them to check on dad. And I just. I just knew,
yep.
Emily Jones: So at this point, are you still making your way back home? Like you're, you're traveling and you're trying to just accept the reality of what's happening. And then of course the kids are asking [00:21:00] questions and I can't even imagine, you know, the feelings that you must have had in just the shock of, you know, being in that car.
Darlene Firlein: Yeah my, you know, it's a good thing. My sister was driving, but she didn't know. So, at this point, my sister is thinking that he's sober again and that he's doing well. I haven't told anybody that I knew wrong. Like, I knew differently, but in my heart, I knew for months prior to that, that he was using again and each time that he.
Fell back into it, um, or the word they use, um, relapse. Yes. Thank you. Um, each time that he relapsed, it took me less and less time to figure it out because it was happening so much. So, I recognize the signs way sooner each time. So, this time I knew that it was happening. That was 4 months, at least 4 months prior to this event.
I knew that he was using and I didn't, I [00:22:00] didn't tell anybody. Because for 1, so my sister had no idea. Um, as I'm telling her my feelings, she's like, no way. No way. He's he's doing great. He's this and that. And I'm like, okay, I hope you're right. But my feelings and my gut is telling me otherwise and I looked back in the car and I said to the boys.
I said, this is going to be hard, but no matter what happens, God's going to get us through it.
So of course my niece, my niece and my boys started crying. And my sister realizes in that moment, how serious it was. And then she couldn't drive fast enough. And then she took a wrong turn. So we were even like longer, prolonged even longer, but I'm just trying to talk to them and reassure them that we're going to be okay, no matter what.
So it felt like the longest drive in the universe. So we get home[00:23:00] and I, uh, there's 2, 2 officers or 3. I don't even remember now at this point, but, this was 3 years ago now, 3 years and a month. So we pull back in. Uh, we pull up like maniacs and I jump out of the car and I said, is he? Okay. And, you know, the officer just stood there shaking their head.
No.
Yeah, I dropped to my knees and just bald.
Um,
I said, I have to see him. And they said, you can't see him.
I said, I have to, I have to say goodbye.
They wouldn't let me to see him because he was already gone for too long. And that they didn't want me to see him like that, which is probably for the better. But at the same time, I still feel like I never got closure. It was just like. Gone and he was just gone.[00:24:00]
So life got hard after that. Of course it was just devastating. Everything was a blur to planned his. You know, service. I did like a memorial, like a celebration of life. I wanted to, he was an amazing guy. He just couldn't, he couldn't fight this illness that he had.
He had a mental illness instead of, getting help for it or admitting that he had a mental illness. He just chose to mend it himself.
Emily Jones: Yeah, that's, um, incredibly frustrating and helpless feeling when. You love someone so much, and you want them to be better and do better and to make the right choices and they just struggle.
They just can't or don't that has to cause just. A lot of mixed emotions. For you and your family as you're trying [00:25:00] to navigate some of that.
Darlene Firlein: Yes, exactly. It is it is, but I will have to say it does get better. It is super hard. And in these last 3 years of grieving and you have your ups and your downs and, you know, there's days that you feel like you can't.
You know, go forward, but raising teenagers in it, um, my boys were 12 and 16 when he passed and that's a hard time in any teenage years, but then on top of it to lose your dad. Uh, yeah, it was.
It was not easy, so my grief got kind of put on the back burner in a sense, because I wanted to focus on them and their mental health. Um, you know, my oldest, he, he showed his emotions and talked about things. But he also chooses to keep himself super, super busy, so he doesn't have to all the [00:26:00] time feel and my younger 1 would act out in just pure anger.
Um. Well, he was just resistant. He stayed in his room. He was bitter. And when he came out, he was just angry and he would destroy things. And I, it got to the point where, I mean, it, it, it was scary. It was scary. You know, this growing boy is growing into a man who, you know, is basically stronger than me. So it was, I had to figure out how to help him.
Help them, I, you know, he lots of therapy. He was in grief counseling. He was in, um, anger management therapy. Um, he did teenage group. Uh, they both did teenage group, uh, grief counseling, um, which was hard, but at the same time, they say it wasn't helpful, but I think otherwise, I mean. I think definitely hearing other [00:27:00] people, other kids, like, it was kids, like, other teenagers stories on losing a parent.
Um, some of them even in their lost both parents, like, it's I think it helped them in a sense to realize that it's. It's not just me, it's, you know, there is somebody else out there like this, or has it even worse even, um, you know, I think it helps a little bit, but then talking it out and then just their mental health was extremely important for me still is obviously, um, you know, I.
I kept talking to them, like, after they would have grief counseling, we would sit in the car and make it a night where we would go have Chick fil a and sit in the car and, you know, talk about our feelings. And at 1st, they weren't, they, they didn't like it, but I was consistent and I was persistent and it kept happening and it was.
You know, it was a beautiful thing [00:28:00] they learned in that process to talk about things and share how they're feeling. And they did that for a good year. Maybe a little more than a year, something like that.
Emily Jones: I think that's awesome because so many. Boys and men are taught not to talk about their feelings, that, you know, that's not a very masculine thing to do, and, um, people don't care, don't want to hear about it, so it sounds like they really learned how to do that, maybe not even just navigating grief, but hopefully that's a skill that they'll be able to continue to carry forward.
Darlene Firlein: Yeah, I hope so. That was I was just 1 thing that that that was my number 1 priority to make sure that they could express their feelings and know how to handle their emotions. So, as it going into adulthood that, I mean, it's still always is in the back of my mind that. You know, they're going to pick up the wrong thing and continue to suppress it like [00:29:00] their dad did.
It's always in the back of my mind. I just pray that I can, you know, give them the tools that they need so that they can and they have good, good head on their shoulders. They. You know, in these last couple of years, like I said, it's been 3 years since Tim's passing. But, yeah, we've really gotten close to each other.
You know, we can still, you know, talk about him good and bad. We can bring him up and talk about. Any any of it, if they have questions, I answer some things I hesitate on, but there's. Yeah, there's definitely some big, big, huge healing on just being able to let them express themselves and, um, just talk it out.
Even if it's, it is so uncomfortable most of the time, but the important thing is to just make sure that they can, that they feel like they have a person to go to [00:30:00] and if it's not me, I tell them all the time. It's okay if it's not me, um, you know, that is truly important that everybody has. You know, 1 to 2 people that they can go to, for, you know, mental mental stability.
It's really important if we don't have our mental health. I think that it's, you know, it's. It's powerful, you know, if you don't have your mental health, it slowly, it goes down to your physical health and your, you know, depression and your, your just ways of living. So, I make sure that the boys know how important it is.
And then even, you know, in dating, I, you know, I date it for 2 years, and watching them through that process. It's not easy and there's constant new things that come up, um, that of course makes them miss their dad. And, you know, for the longest time, me dating, of course, was a trigger because it was like, you're trying to replace dad.
And it's like, no, that's not it.[00:31:00] You know, and everything that we do and trying to grow, it's important that they talk out their feelings and, you know, if, if I don't agree with it, it's okay. There was just recently on, you know, September being that my birthday, September 13th, but my husband's death date is the 15th 2 days later.
Um, so it's kind of like my. My birthday isn't as, as meaningful to them in a way, in a sense, it's so close to that date that that's what they think of, which is okay. Fine. But, you know, I was out I was out with my boyfriend that night, um, having dinner and my son, you know, text me about my husband's death date.
On my birthday night, and it was like, okay, we'll talk about this when I get home. And I said, you know, I appreciate you telling me how you feel, but we'll talk about this when you get home. So, I would acknowledge that he's having this [00:32:00] thought, um, and then we can talk about it later and then he. Later was, you know, he wanted to honor his dad on his death date and he was mad at me that I didn't.
So we had to discuss, I, you know, I said, your feelings are invalid. I said, but to me, I want to honor dad on a happy day, like his birthday, not his death date. And, you know, I'd rather kind of ignore it and just be about my birthday. And, you know, he's like, why didn't you say that? And I was like, because again, your feelings are valid.
So if this is how you want to do it, even though. I disagree. It doesn't mean that we can't still honor your dad and, you know, in a way that will help you. So, being that we all great, you know, grieve in different ways. It's important that we kind of. You still wouldn't acknowledge each way, even though it's [00:33:00] exhausting.
It's mentally and exhausting, but it's, you know, it's part of healing. It's part of the process. And yeah, one, you know, that this last one that we had, it was, it was Incredibly special. You know, he, my husband loved Wawa and, um, lottery tickets. So we all got something to eat in lottery tickets. And, um, my in laws had put a, um, picnic bench in his honor for him and his brother because they both passed away less than a year apart.
So we sat at the picnic bench and ate our Wawa and scratched our lottery tickets in honor of him watching the sunset. And it was just It was pretty perfect. It, you know, it was, I don't
even know how to describe it, but it was just like, I don't want to say a relief, but it was, it was definitely healing to do it. And even though it was something I didn't want to, [00:34:00] but it's like, that's one, you know, my son wanted to, so therefore we did it. And it was actually helped all of us, even though in the moment, you know, you don't think that it's so anyway, my point is.
You know, we help each other and, in their process, I think I'm doing it all for them. But then, you know, on days like that, they can turn it around and help me. So, it's pretty incredible. And we've grown closer from it and we have a, you know, they're going to be, they're almost. 20 and 20 and 16 now, like, it sounds so weird, even though I say 3 years later, but yeah, just because on teenage years, it's, it just goes so fast.
And anyway, so, yeah, um, there's hope and it doesn't mean, you know, we're not gonna have our bad days, but it just means that we can still help each other out. Even on the days that one of us is super down, there's different [00:35:00] perspectives that can help each other get through it, which is pretty incredible.
Emily Jones: Yeah, so, so beautiful. How, you know, you had the opportunity to do something that the day that they pass is always tough. Like, it's weird. Like, what do you do? Cause you're not really celebrating that day. Not think about it, but it sounds like, you know, you being open to supporting, you know, your son, the way that you wanted to actually ended up supporting you too, which is a really beautiful thing.
Darlene Firlein: Yeah, yeah, it really is. It's incredible. I love how close we are and how, you know, we can talk about anything now, not even just about grief, but it's about just anything. And, you know, they, it's made us grow closer in a sense that they can just. And I just feel comfortable to come to me with anything, which is amazing.
And that's, you know, I can, I can say like a lot of adults can't even do that. I, um,[00:36:00] so yeah, that's what I just wanted to say that.
Some days when you just don't feel like you can go forward. And then the next day you're, you know, your son is helping you heal in a sense that it's just, yeah. It's. It's empowering. It's, it definitely gives you hope. And you know, that we can, we can go move forward and, you know, have happy lives and in it.
Emily Jones: Yeah. So what, uh, what advice would you give to, you know, someone who's in the situation that you were going through that first year, that, that second year, you know, they've got a couple of teenagers, they're trying to also support through their grieving process. What was something that was the most helpful for you or something that you would just leave as encouraging words for those
folks?
Darlene Firlein: Just don't give up. Keep trying. If they push you away. Keep pushing back because they don't, they don't understand, like, it's hard to process grief as an [00:37:00] adult, let alone as a teenager. You're already so confused on the world. You don't know who you are. You don't know who your friends are. You're still trying to figure out everything.
And then you get slapped in the face with grief. It's like, just don't give up on them. Keep powering through if they say they don't want therapy, they don't want to talk. They don't want to it's not an option. Just keep keep keep trying because eventually they will break down or they will open up or just keep trying keep powering through they tell, you know, say, I'm sorry, but this is what is going to happen.
Now. This is where we're at. We're going to try it for. I don't know, 5 times or a month or whatever, just this is, we're going to try this. So just be strong because even though you don't feel strong in the moment, if I would have just like threw my hands up, cause there [00:38:00] was days that I wanted to and just let, you know, him sit in his room or just ignored, we wouldn't be where we are.
We wouldn't have come this far and being able to talk about him and his issues and his mental health and his using. We wouldn't be able to talk about any of that and they wouldn't be able to grow from it. They wouldn't be able to learn from it. Um, so, yeah, so just don't give up, you know, just power through keep trying.
Emily Jones: Awesome. That's excellent advice. Well, Darlene, thank you so much for coming on the show today and sharing your story and some of the things that you learned. I think it's really going to help inspire other people that are out there listening to it.
Darlene Firlein: Thank you so much for having me.
Emily Jones: Hey guys. Thank you so much for listening to the Brave Widow Podcast. I would [00:39:00] love to help you take your next step, whether that's healing your heart, finding hope, or achieving your dreams for the future.
Do you need a safe space to connect with other like-minded widows? Do you wish you had how-tos for getting through the next steps in your journey, organizing your life or moving through grief? What about live calls where you get answers to your burning questions? The Brave Widow Membership Community is just what you need.
Inside you'll find courses to help guide you, a community of other widows to connect with, live coaching and q and a calls, and small group coaching where you can work on what matters most to you. Learn how to heal your heart, find hope, reclaim joy, and dream again for the future. It is possible. Head on over to brave widow.com to learn more. [00:40:00]
