BW 185: Am I Doing Grief Right? | The 4 Seasons Of Grief & How To Know You’re Really Healing
Feb 10, 2026Are you afraid you’re “doing grief wrong”?
In this episode, Emily breaks down the 4 Seasons of Grief and how to know if you’re actually healing or just staying busy.
Take the free 4 Seasons of Grief Quiz here: https://bravewidow.com/quiz
In this episode of the Brave Widow Show, Emily answers a question so many widows ask in different ways:
“Have I really done the work of grieving, or am I just pushing it down and keeping myself busy?”
You’ll learn:
- Why there is no one “right” way to grieve, and what actually makes grief work helpful or harmful
- The 4 Seasons of Grief (Rawness, Isolation, Self-Discovery, Empowerment) and what each season looks like day-to-day
- How shoving emotions down can show up later in your body as pain, illness, or accidents
- The difference between staying busy to avoid grief vs. taking baby steps to build a new life
- How to carve out simple, intentional “grief time” even when you’re providing for a family and leading at work
- Why it’s normal not to have all your big life decisions (house, remarriage, future plans) figured out yet
- How to stabilize, explore, and then build a life you can actually love again with your person’s memory honored, not erased
Next steps:
- 🎯 Find your season of grief (free quiz): https://bravewidow.com/quiz
- 📅 Join the live “4 Seasons of Grief” webinar (Feb 17): https://bravewidow.com/live
- 🤍 Explore Brave Widow Academy and coaching: https://bravewidow.com/academy
If you feel like “a shell of yourself,” lonely, or stuck walking in place, you’re not broken and you’re not alone. There is a gentle, faith-based path forward, one small step at a time.
Chapters
0:00 – Are you “doing grief right”?
1:00 – Listener question: “Have I really done the work of grieving?”
3:05 – The fear of doing grief wrong (and what others think)
5:10 – Why time alone does NOT heal grief
7:00 – What it means to “do the work” of grieving
9:05 – Grief needs a witness: why talking matters
11:00 – The 4 Seasons of Grief (R.I.S.E. overview)
13:20 – Season 1: Rawness & survival mode
16:00 – Stabilize: the Chaos to Calm Blueprint
18:30 – Season 2: Isolation & feeling like a “shell”
21:00 – Holding “and”: grieving AND feeling moments of joy
23:40 – Seasons 2–3: Scheduling grief vs. staying busy
27:10 – Season 4: Empowerment & building a new life
29:30 – Are you busy to avoid grief… or to build a future?
32:00 – Overachievers, martyrs, and burning yourself out
35:00 – 3-step path: Stabilize, Explore, Build
37:00 – Free 4 Seasons of Grief Quiz & live webinar invite
🌱 READY FOR DEEPER SUPPORT?
If you’re tired of feeling lost, lonely, and second‑guessing every decision, Brave Widow Academy is a 6‑month, faith‑based coaching program to help you rebuild a life you can love again.
Learn more:
https://bravewidow.com/academy
Book a free no‑pressure consult:
https://bravewidow.com/call
💬 If this episode helped you, please:
- Hit Subscribe
- Leave a quick rating & review – it helps more widows find this support
- Share this with a friend who’s facing grief or the holidays without their person
If you’re new here, my name is Emily Tanner. I’m the founder of Brave Widow and Brave Widow Academy.
I help widows move from barely surviving their loss… to rebuilding a life they can actually love again without feeling like they’re betraying their person.
By day (and for 20+ years), I’ve led large teams and complex operations in the corporate world.
After my husband Nathan died in 2021, just shy of our 20-year anniversary, I took everything I knew about leadership, systems, and change — and started applying it to grief.
Since then, I’ve:
Shared my story publicly to make widows feel less alone.
Launched the Brave Widow podcast, now with 180+ episodes and listeners around the world.
Coached hundreds of widows 1:1 and in groups, and talked with thousands more through the podcast, communities, and events.
Built Brave Widow Academy, a 6-month coaching program with a clear framework for moving from deep grief to rebuilding a life you can love again.
I don’t teach “just think positive” grief tips.
I teach widows how to:
Heal their heart.
Stop waiting on “time” to fix everything.
Take small, brave steps toward a life that feels meaningful again.
How I Got Here…
2021: My husband Nathan dies unexpectedly. I’m 4 kids in, overwhelmed, and drowning in paperwork, decisions, and pain. Therapy helps, but I still feel stuck with no roadmap.
2021–2022: I start devouring books, interviewing widows, trying grief groups, and studying coaching — desperate to find something that actually helps me feel different.
2022: I start the Brave Widow podcast, recording episodes while terrified and crying between takes — but determined that no widow should feel as alone as I did.
Year 1: I begin coaching widows 1:1. Word spreads quietly. The same patterns and problems keep showing up, so I start building frameworks instead of one-off advice.
Year 2: I launch Brave Widow Academy — a structured, 6-month coaching program with a step-by-step path: from deep grief, to stability, to rebuilding.
Year 3: Brave Widow has listeners around the world. I’ve personally coached hundreds of widows and spoken with thousands more through consults, lives, emails, and DMs.
Today: My work is simple:
Help widows stop white-knuckling their way through each day… and start rebuilding a life that makes them genuinely glad to be alive again.
You don’t have to do it alone. 💜
