BW 094: Love Your Life After Loss (and the Power of Coaching!)

tips Apr 23, 2024
 

Watch the video here or on YouTube; listen anywhere podcasts are played (Apple, Spotify, Google…)

The Transcript is below.


In this episode, I discuss the transformative journey from loss to rediscovery. Join me as I share:

That life can still be fulfilling and enjoyable after experiencing loss, without minimizing the pain of that loss.
Initial Feelings of Hopelessness: After the death of our spouse, we initially struggled to see a purpose in life or find joy in the future.
Healing Journey: Through working with other widows, coaches, and engaging in grief and healing processes, we began to shift our perspective and reject the idea of living a life consumed by sadness.
Rediscovering Self and Possibilities: Over time, we started to explore new possibilities and dreams, recognizing ourselves as different people and wanting to redefine our lives.
Challenges and Setbacks: Despite progress, grief can still bring setbacks and moments of doubt, where it feels like taking steps forward only to be knocked back.
Perseverance and Growth: Despite setbacks, we emphasize the importance of perseverance and continuing to navigate through grief, acknowledging the process of rediscovery and self-exploration.

and more...

quote: 

''Inspire you when you're feeling hopeless, when you're feeling that life is pointless, when you don't even know if it's possible to enjoy your life again, this is meant to encourage and inspire you that it absolutely is possible for you. And that if you will keep. Doing the work if you'll keep moving forward and keep trying and keep exploring and keep taking those baby steps that that consistency is going to pay off for you and you can get to a place where you love your life and you're trying new things and you're doing things that you never even thought was possible.''

''You have so many options in front of you and someone can help navigate you. Navigate your journey with you. They can walk alongside you. You can have a supportive community of other people around you as you go down these paths.'' 

''If you have dreams and you have goals that you're chasing, I am so proud of you.''

''

''It is not easy to pick up the pieces of your life. That exploded when you lost your other half and to do the work of healing of getting your feet underneath you of getting to a point where you realize you don't want your person's death to have ended your life in its own way.

So being brave enough to explore new dreams and ideas and to actually start to pursue them and to chase them. That's a big deal and you should give yourself a big pat on the back. ''

Recommendations: 

  • working with other widows, coaches, and engaging in grief and healing processes,
  • Find support
  • Give your self time to process
  • etc.

The Brave Widow Community is a place where you can connect with other widows, find hope and healing, and begin to dream again for the future.  Learn more at bravewidow.com.  

 

 

Hey guys, I’m Emily Jones

 

I was widowed at age 37, one month shy of our 20 year wedding anniversary.  Nathan and I have four beautiful children together.  My world was turned completely upside down when I lost him.  With faith, community, and wisdom from others, I’ve been able to find hope, joy, and dream again for the future.  I want to help others do the same, too!

 

FOLLOW me on SOCIAL:

Twitter | @brave_widow

Instagram | @brave_widow

Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/bravewidow

YouTube | @bravewidow


Transcript:

Life after loss and the power of coaching
===

[00:00:00]

Emily: Hey, hey, and welcome to episode number 94 of the Brave Widow show. Guys, I am so excited to record this episode of the show today and to share with you some of the exciting things that have been happening in my personal life and the Brave Widow community and to help inspire you that life does exist beyond loss. And not just any life, but a life that you can love, a life that you can be excited about, a life where you can accomplish things that you didn't even think were possible.

A life where you know that you Never would have even considered had you not gone through this loss and in no way is What I'm gonna share with you today a way to say that Oh, we should be grateful for what happened or the pain and the loss that we [00:01:00] experienced was the price We had to pay to be able to Embody this new person and to embrace this new life.

Absolutely. Not what you've experienced as a widow is Is A horrible pain and loss that I wouldn't wish on anybody. And that doesn't mean that the rest of our life has to be one. of pain and suffering and sadness. And before I was widowed, I kind of thought that's how it was gonna be. So I don't know if any of you out there also thought the same thing before you were widowed.

And if you're newly widowed, you might be feeling that now. You know, I went through several stages of trying to get to a point where I loved my life again. The first being after Nathan died that I didn't really see what the point was. Like, why have dreams and hopes for the future? Those, I had [00:02:00] those, those evaporated, those were gone the instant that he was gone.

I didn't really have anything to look forward to in the future and I felt like anything I might be excited about again would be pointless because he wouldn't be there to be part of it. To see it, to enjoy it. So what was the point? So that was part of my healing journey. That's really where I started.

Then as I began my healing process and I was working with other widows and coaches and learning a lot about grief and healing, I decided that I didn't want to live a life that was engulfed in sadness for the next 40, 50 years of my life. You know, hopefully I get to live that long and that's a really long time to just live life as a hollow shell of a person, just being blown around by the wind, aimless, directionless, [00:03:00] and feeling sorry for myself

sounded horrible to me. And in the beginning, that really just feels like your reality. Like, you can't see beyond the pain and the loss and Everything that was taken from you, but as you start to move forward, you may start to feel if, if you're doing the work, you know, some people get stuck there for a really long time, but as you're doing the work on your journey through healing and navigating this crazy world of grief, where you start to think, okay, I'm ready to start thinking about what a life could look like.

Maybe exploring some new possibilities. Coming up with some new dreams, maybe testing out some different things because I feel now like a different person and I want to rediscover who this new version of me is and what are the things that I would like to do. And maybe you start to do [00:04:00] some of those things and grief just smacks you back down.

That's what it feels like. Like, you take one step forward and you're knocked backwards two steps. And you try to put yourself out there and to go to places and do things and You're bawling in the car on the way, or you sit in a parking lot and doubt yourself and second guess every decision that you're making and doing this.

And again, those thoughts of, what is the point? This is pointless. This is so stupid. Why am I doing this? All of those thoughts can bubble up and really just ruin the moment, ruin what you're trying to do and moving forward. You also may feel guilty. You may feel guilty that people think, oh, she's over it now, you know, she's going out and doing stuff.

She went to a comedy show and she's laughing. She went to a concert, like, wow, I can't even imagine going to a [00:05:00] concert less than a year after my spouse died. She must have not loved him that much. Like, there's all these Unhelpful thoughts that come up whenever we're trying these new things and experimenting with what this new life could look like.

As I moved through that the next phase that I went through really was a phase of okay, I'm doing it. When you're riding a bike and you're like, I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. And then you fall over, right? You just got to get back up and pedal again. But you feel like, you know, you're starting to get your feet underneath you.

You're not in survival fight or flight mode anymore. You're starting to explore new things. You're finding some, some things that are gauging your catching your interest. Um, I went to different. Concerts, I went to different conferences, I joined different groups and clubs and found that those things are really helpful for me and [00:06:00] figuring out what I want in my life to look like and how I wanted to attract other people around me and my social circle, eventually, and my love life again, and friendships that I had, like, I really wanted to be intentional and purposeful about having those people around me.

And now I feel that I'm really at a point where I can say that I love the life that I live. Yes, of course, there are times I still miss Nathan, and there are times where I get a little sad thinking about the fact he isn't here, and doesn't get to see things with the kids, and isn't part of this life that is being created, this future that is being created, but I no longer live with regret.

I don't live with guilt. I am not over. My joy is not overshadowed by sadness. Instead, the joy that I experience and the [00:07:00] waves that I experience are waves of love and waves of gratitude for the time that I had with that person for the experiences that we had together and for the ability to still create a life that is beautiful and wonderful and not lesser than the life that I had before.

Even though I've experienced this loss, and I want to share with you that now, for those of you that may not know, I am just three years shy of the date that Nathan died. And for some people, that's just inconceivable that, you know, three years later, you'd be at a point where you could enjoy life again, that you could stop feeling guilty, stop feeling. The regrets stop pining away for what was and looking constantly in your rear view mirror, but it's not by luck.

It's not by some random happenstance that I got here. I did a lot of hard work. [00:08:00] And the reason I want to share The exciting things that are coming up for me, the exciting things that I'm seeing, not only for me, but for people in the Brave Widow community is not to brag and say, well, I did all this. So I deserve it.

It's a way to help inspire you when you're feeling hopeless, when you're feeling that life is pointless, when you don't even know if it's possible to enjoy your life again, this is meant to encourage and inspire you that it absolutely is possible for you. And that if you will keep. Doing the work if you'll keep moving forward and keep trying and keep exploring and keep taking those baby steps that that consistency is going to pay off for you and you can get to a place where you love your life and you're trying new things and you're doing things that you never even thought was possible.

Many of you know, Sue, who's in the Brave Widow community, who has walked this journey of [00:09:00] Brave Widow with me from the very beginning. She was a founding member, and, um, she is going to be in the Brave Widow Hall of Fame when that is established. And Sue will openly share that when she first started interacting with us and being part of Brave Widow, she hated being called a widow.

She didn't like that label. She didn't want anything to do with that. And because of the work that she's done, and How she's participated and how she sought her own healing and how she sought coaches and multiple areas of her life and how she's been brave to try new things and explore new hobbies and she is publishing a book this year, which is.

Amazing. Amazing for someone to be able to publish their first book that they've ever written. She never dreamed of being a published author. She never dreamed that she would write a book or that she would be in the position that she's in, but she's turning her [00:10:00] pain and her healing into purpose of inspiring and impacting other people.

There are so many stories. Like it's like sues that I could share of widows who have gone on to start their own businesses to change careers and, and try a new role to be promoted in the job that they're in to step out of their comfort zone because they're willing to. Try hard things that pay off later.

I also want to share the power of working with a coach. I have really been ramping up the one on one coaching side of Brave Widow and. That part of the business and that has been really, really fulfilling and exciting, not only for me, but for the people that I get to coach. And I get to talk with one on one to learn more about them and their dreams and their desires and their [00:11:00] challenges.

And just Walking that journey of reaching their goals or of creating goals, when they came to me and said, I don't even know what I want. I just know I don't want what I'm experiencing right now, but to be able to work with them to figure out what could the future hold, what things do they want to explore, or to unpack the hurt and the pain and the weight That they carry on their shoulders just to give them the space and the opportunity to unpack all of that, to talk through it in a way where they know they're not going to be judged, that I'm going to do my best to see them, to hear them, to understand them, and to support them in their healing journey.

It has been the most rewarding and amazing experience. And I will see you I really didn't know if I wanted to be a one on one coach initially, but I have been so inspired by the coaches who have helped me. [00:12:00] And I'm going to share with you a few examples of coaches that I've worked with in the past and ones that I'm working with right now on things in the future.

I believe a thousand percent that the reason why I've been able to move forward and that I've been able to find closure and that I've been able to be inspired and excited about things for the future again is because I invested in myself and got inspired. Whether it was investing financially, investing my time, investing my energy, investing in making big, scary changes in my life, in believing that someone else who's walked this path knows what they're talking about and can help me get to where I want to be.

Taking small these risks that felt really scary at the time that that has fast tracked a lot of things that I've wanted to [00:13:00] accomplish in my life. If you've listened to the podcast for very long, you know, I've been interested in real estate investing for a long time, but I never Really did much about it in my life, except read forums, um, until after Nathan died.

And it was about a year after he died that I decided I wanted to join a local real estate investing club. It was a club that meets once a month in my local city. I shared as part of that story. The first time I went to that meeting, I sat in the car for a good 20 minutes and Almost turned around and went home.

I didn't know what the inside was going to be like, what the bathrooms were going to be. I didn't know one single person there. And I just remember sitting in my truck like this is a mistake. I just, what am I doing? What am I doing? I just need to go home. I don't know anything about real estate investing.

But through. Going to those meetings through [00:14:00] putting myself out there, I found people who were willing to be a mentor or a coach, or even just a good friend or acquaintance or relationship that I have learned so much by going to those meetings, by taking people to lunch, by picking their brains, by asking lots of questions that I've.

Really been able to fast track my growth in the real estate investing space. I will share one example. I have many, but I will show one example where I found a home that I was really attracted to in my hometown. It's a small two bed, one bath house from the fifties and it was a disaster. Okay. I, it needed lots and lots of work.

This was not a cosmetic fixer upper, this thing like needed a ton of work. And I remember thinking before I joined this [00:15:00] club, and even as I was working with my coach and my mentor through some of this, like, Oh, this is too, like, I can't do this. Okay. I don't know how to lay tile. I don't even know how to demo a wall.

I don't know. You know, if. If the quotes I'm getting are people trying to rip me off, I don't know anything about anything with rehabbing a house or remodeling or anything like that. But I had a coach. I had a mentor. I had someone who believed in me and my ability to figure it out and who spent a lot of time with me who took me around to look at properties, who sat down and explained to me.

The types of things that maybe I would want to learn to do myself versus things I should contract out when I would get quotes to get work done, they would tell me whether or not that sounded like a fair market rate, whether it sounded like. exorbitant or, you know, I was thinking about putting gutters on a house and they were, you know, advised that I should wait until winter time.

Maybe I get a better deal. Just a lot of things [00:16:00] that helped me move much more quickly than I would have moved on my own. And so this month I was proud to share our rehabbed out with the world on Airbnb and on other short term rental hosting apps. And it's just been. Awesome experience. But before I did that, I had a lot of fears.

I thought rehabbing a home was for other people. You know, I thought in my twenties and thirties when I would watch those house flipping shows. Okay, you know what I'm talking about. On TLC and all these other channels. I just I loved watching them, but I always thought it was for someone else. It was too risky for me.

I had no idea what I was doing. And of course, I thought they make it look super easy. I know it can't be that easy. I had fears about having an Airbnb or a hotel. Was I going to get blown up with a lot of messages? Were people going to be picky about the towels? Were, [00:17:00] you know, I'm going to get a lot of messages that, Oh, I can't find this.

I can't find that. Where are the trash bags? Like, I just had a lot of concerns that I was going to be inundated with complaints and messages, and it was going to be super time consuming and I was going to hate it. And I had all of these negative thoughts without ever having actually done it. But working with a coach and working with a supportive community of other people who were doing it helped me fast track my belief in myself to figure it out.

My belief in my coach and in my community of people who had walked that path before me, or people who were walking it through me, that it gave me enough confidence in myself. to actually try it and to now be able to fall in love with it. Yes, there are going to be pros and cons with an Airbnb or a long term rental, short term rental, flipping houses, all of those things have their own pros and cons.

And that's one of the frustrating [00:18:00] things about real estate investing is you have to decide for you, Which approach you want to take? Like, how do you want to invest in real estate? How passive or active do you want to be? And all of those things, which makes it frustrating when you want someone to just tell you, like, this is what you should do.

I feel like it's very similar to you creating your life after loss and you deciding the next path for you as a widow, trying to create a life for yourself. You have so many options in front of you and someone can help navigate you. Navigate your journey with you. They can walk alongside you. You can have a supportive community of other people around you as you go down these paths.

But ultimately, you have to decide which path you want to take. And P. S. It's okay to change your mind. I initially was flipping this house and not going to use it as an Airbnb. And I changed my mind and that's okay. [00:19:00] Now we're going down this path and it's something that I really love. I love getting to hear the stories of why people are coming to town, of what they're familiar with, of how much they've enjoyed staying there.

It's just been a very fulfilling experience so far. And I'm excited about continuing to do that for the future. But what I want you to take away from this is the key things that helped me with that thing. With that one project out of all the things that I've worked on is I had a coach that believed in me, that took the time to invest in me, that encouraged me to take steps forward even when I was afraid to, when I was hesitant, when I wasn't sure.

And I had a supportive community of people around me where I could ask questions, I could bounce ideas off of them, I could interact with them, and I knew that they would have my back. You know, for example, when I'm looking at all these different hosting apps that are out there, I [00:20:00] can quickly ask the group, Hey, has anybody used this app?

What's your experience? Would you use it? And within minutes, get responses and feedback from people, and then I can decide for myself based on that information, what path that I want to go down. Okay, so that's one super exciting thing that it is. I'm so happy to share. This rehab was intimidating. Okay. And maybe not the best financial decision, but I fell in love this with this house that was super close to my kids school and it we listen the day I walked through it to sign the closing papers after we signed everything and and we were taking the house on.

I was attacked by a legion. A legion of fleas. They were literally jumping up on my jeans all the way up to my knees. It was so crazy. Horrible. Um, needless to say, this house, as I shared, I already knew needed a ton [00:21:00] of work and the fleas just were icing on the cake at this point. We ended up tearing out floors, walls, replacing floor joists, replacing wall studs, new cabinets, new walls, new drywall, new ceiling, new floors, new appliances.

Like pretty much 98 percent of this entire house on the interior is a mess. Completely new. And that was. That is a huge project for any one person to take on, but I did it and I felt confident about doing it because I had people who believed in me and I had people who I could go to and ask for guidance.

I work with multiple different coaches and I just really feel compelled to convey the power of Having a one on one coach. Um, you all may remember the episode I had with Dr. Betsy Guerra. She has been my life [00:22:00] coach and, um, she's a practicing clinical psychologist. She's the founder of the Faith Based Coaching Academy, and she really has poured.

Blood, sweat and tears and all of her love and to helping the students that go through her coaching program and helping to elevate us and to help us embody the person that we want our clients to eventually become to be the example for them and to be the best coaches we can to help equip other people.

You know, I was not sure in my career, what my future held for me, um, with having online, an online business and with doing online coaching, I always knew I wanted to do something in the leadership space. I love leadership. I've been doing it for over 20 years. I could talk about it for hours and hours. No problem.

Like I love leadership. I saw myself doing that. I have full confidence in that. And. I, that I believe is still in my future. [00:23:00] When it come, when it came to helping people through grief and helping people navigate this journey of healing and widowhood and life on the other side, I did not feel confident and I knew what helped me, but I did not know how to help equip other people.

But when I found the Faith Based Coaching Academy and I learned about Dr. Betsy and her program and I interacted with her, I instantly knew that she was the right person for me. And I have grown so much from having her as my personal life coach. I've become a better mom, I've become a better daughter, a better sibling, I've become a better Leader in the companies I interact with, I've become a thousand percent, a better coach for people that I work with.

I have just improved in so many [00:24:00] areas of my life just by Having her as my personal life coach and my coach for being a better coach. Like that has exponentially changed how I support and show up for people and how I help them make decisions and feel confident in that and achieve the things that they want to achieve in life.

Could I still do one on one coaching with brave widow? Could I still help grievers? Could I still show up for people? In a way that helps them, had I not gone through her program and had she not been my coach, yeah, sure. But I might've shown up with like 40 percent of the confidence I have now with hoping that I knew what worked for me was going to work for other people.

And my growth in the membership and in the coaching community would have been much slower because I didn't feel that I had the [00:25:00] tools that I needed and the confidence that I needed to be able to help other people, but the money and the time and the effort that I invested in what she imparted on me has really helped me spring forward in my own ability to help other people, my own ability to help You as listeners of the brave widow show and attendees of the live events that we have in the community calls and has just changed my life in every area.

I also have a coach that I'm working with now on how to grow my coaching business specifically on how to help convey the power of coaching and how amazing. It can be when you achieve your goals, whether that's, I don't want to wake up crying every day anymore. I want to get out of this hurt. I want to get out of this pain.

Or maybe it's, I want to explore something new for myself. I want to come up with new dreams. Or maybe it's I want to date again. I want [00:26:00] to find someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with. So I'm working with a coach on how to better paint the picture of just how beautiful and amazing your life can look when you achieve those things, when you're working towards something and making progress towards it and you get there.

So I'm investing my time, money and energy with a coach to help me Be a better conveyor of that information and to help grow my coaching business. I'm also later this year in the fall, going to be speaking at a large international conference. And as soon as I can share the details with you, I will and it's super exciting and there's going to be thousands of people there.

And I've spoken on a stage several times, but I've never spoken to this number of people potentially ever and I want it to be impactful. I don't want it to be [00:27:00] something that fireworks go off and people think I did an amazing job, but I want them to be like, wow, I learned so much. so much. And it was entertaining and it was interactive and it was well worth me coming to this conference to learn these things that I want to be invited back.

I want people to reach out and say that they want more, they want to learn more, that they found value in what I had to share. So I hired a public speaking coach and I will be working with her from now until fall on creating an engaging presentation and creating something that's meaningful and impactful.

And I'm not getting paid to do this presentation. I'm doing it as a way to. share and give back to a certain community and to help show the resources that are available. And for many, many reasons other than getting paid to go do this. And I want it to be well worth my [00:28:00] time and the audience's time. And so I've invested in a coach to work with me one on one on public speaking, on creating something that's going to Give value that's going to be entertaining and educational and to really maximize the time that I spend while I'm there.

So

Now, I know you might be thinking, Oh, Emily, you have a podcast, you've, you know, spoken on stages before. This isn't a big deal for you. Like, that's, that's easy. That's not something, you know, intimidating, but listen, I didn't even think I'd ever have a podcast. I'm an introvert. I don't like being the center of attention.

I don't like being in the spotlight. I'm a happy camper to work in the background. And support other people in being the person that is in the spotlight like I am good with that so this is a big scary thing for me to be up on a stage in front of maybe it'll be 1000 people maybe it'll be 4000 people we'll find out as we get a little closer to the [00:29:00] date but that's That's a big thing.

And again, I want to share all these exciting things that I'm doing with you again, not to say I'm not a magical person. I don't, I don't have some magic pill that I take that helps me have confidence and do these things. I was struggling just like many of you. May still be in the early days of thinking that there was zero point and doing any of this.

I never thought I'd be doing a podcast or wanting to go do public speaking. Absolutely not. Like most people would rather face death than public speaking. Statistically speaking. Okay. So these are not things that I knew when I From the beginning of my life that I wanted to do, these are new things that I'm exploring and discovering and trying and figuring out along the way.

So again, this is meant to inspire you that [00:30:00] you can do big, scary things. You can do. Things that you never even dreamed of. You never thought possible. You never even saw yourself Wanting to do that wanting to be that person. I never saw myself wanting to be on stage Absolutely not.

So who knows who knows what's in store for you?

If you have dreams and you have goals that you're chasing, I am so proud of you. It is not easy to pick up the pieces of your life. That exploded when you lost your other half and to do the work of healing of getting your feet underneath you of getting to a point where you realize you don't want your person's death to have ended your life in its own way.

So being brave enough to explore new dreams and ideas and to actually start to pursue [00:31:00] them and to chase them. That's a big deal and you should give yourself a big pat on the back. for having done that work and being willing to pick up the pieces and to try to create a beautiful life again. And I am here for you every step of the way to tell you it is possible.

You're doing an amazing job. You will get there. You will find what you are looking for if you just don't give up.

If you don't have a coach, go get one. I don't care if it's me. I don't care if it's a life coach. It doesn't matter. If you have to start with. a mentor at a local group who's willing to meet with you once a week when you buy them lunch, like whatever you have to do. If you are chasing these dreams and goals, go find a coach, find someone who has walked that path before you, who is going to be in your [00:32:00] corner, who is going to push you to do bigger things than you had even thought possible, go find that person who is going to help support and empower you through this journey.

You will not Regret it. Finding the right coach. If you're in a place where, you know, you want something for the future. You don't know what that looks like. You would like to explore dreams. You would like to explore new hobbies, try new things, but everything just feels yucky and intimidating and a little overwhelming.

Go get a coach again. You, there's tons of coaches out there. Life coaching is as an industry is in hyper growth. It is growing so quickly because people are embracing the power of having a one on one coach and the transformation of what happens when they have a coach. So again, [00:33:00] go find a coach to help you to provide the space for you to explore who is this new version.

What are the things that you would enjoy doing? What are the hobbies that you want to try and that you want to work through? Could those dreams for your future look like? Get a coach.

If you are hurting, if you are in a place where all of this just sounds way beyond anywhere where your mindset is and where your heart is, Get a coach. Therapists are extremely helpful with processing things that happened in the past, in a place where I, I hate to say that we're dysfunctional, but if we're in a place of dysfunction where we can't get out of bed and we can't eat and we can't shower and we're just struggling to move through the trauma [00:34:00] of things that we've experienced in the past, therapy is amazing, amazing tool.

Coaching will help you move forward. Coaching will help you find a place where you can start to even take a baby step forward. Coaching is action oriented. It's goal oriented. It's let's move you from where you are forward to another place. And it's okay if you say, I don't have any goals. I, I don't know.

I just know I don't want to live like this. Well, maybe that's your first goal is that you want to be able to wake up every day and feel lighter than you felt the day before and not feel the heaviness and the despair and the hopelessness that you live with now, that's okay, a coach can help you with that.

Again, I'm not the right coach for everybody. I'll be the [00:35:00] first person to tell you that. I I'm not the right person for everyone. There are people that I don't feel are the best fit but. Whether or not I'm your person go find a person and I would encourage you if possible to find somebody who's walked your path, so depending on where you are and what you're Trying to achieve you may want somebody who's a widowed life coach And there are several people out there that do that Find that person that you resonate with, find that person that you don't have to explain what it means to have lost your spouse and how all that's impacted you and you could just talk about it instead.

You could talk about your person. You can talk about the struggles that you're having and you don't have to explain why losing a spouse is different than losing a child or a parent or a sibling and all the things like they get it. They've been there. If you want to publish a book. [00:36:00] Get a coach who has published a book, or if you want to explore dreams, get a coach that has walked that journey that has helped equip other people to get there, but find someone to invest in and invest in them, spend the money, spend the time, spend the effort.

And I. I so believe in the power of coaching and the power of having someone in your corner that you will grow exponentially leaps and bounds by having that person with you than you would trying to just figure it out. Sometimes with coaching people just need accountability and accountability is not always about having a 50 line item action plan that you answer to every week.

Sometimes accountability is Did you pray every day? Okay. On the days that you didn't tell me about that. What happened? Was it hard? Like what came up for you? It's somebody that checks in with you to [00:37:00] help ensure that you're not staying stagnant. You're not stuck. You're not growing. You're not moving forward.

And I'm not here to talk about how amazing coaching is because I'm a coach and I want you to, to buy coaching for me. Although, Yeah, sure. I would love that, but I invest in coaching for myself and I have for the past few years and I will the rest of my life when there are things I want to achieve, like this public speaking event, I am going to hire someone like a public speaking coach.

I am building a house for myself and for my future, and I don't know if there are house building coaches. Okay, but I can tell you that I've started looking on people who can mentor and coach and talk you through the process of building a house and all the things that you should do.

So

if you want a beautiful life that you can love again, if you want to achieve things that [00:38:00] you never even thought possible, if you even just want to wake up and enjoy life again and start to discover new opportunities. You need a coach and you need a group of people who are supportive that are going to help you get there.

This is absolutely crucial in being able to move forward in a way that's faster than you thought possible. Can you still get there without having coaching, without having a community of people, and without having those things? Yes, absolutely, you can get there. But how much longer will it take you to get there?

Versus having the people behind you and beside you to fast track that experience for you. As widows, we often put everyone else first. We often show up for other people. Often at the expense of our own mental health, emotional health, and [00:39:00] just overall well being. But when you prioritize, your healing, you prioritize having the right mindset, having a clear mind, having your cup full instead of running on fumes day after day after day, you get to show up not only for yourself, but you get to show up for other people.

In a way where you don't feel burned out. You don't feel like you're running ragged. You don't feel like hot mess express running from here to there and everywhere. You won't feel resentful and bitter about showing up for those other people. I used to feel that way. I used to Make myself a martyr, right?

Like, I need to show up for other people, they need me, I've got to be there for them, and then I would just be resentful because I felt burned out, drained, like I was just running ragged and on fumes, but it was my duty to show up for these other people. And when I learned to start showing up for myself first and to start [00:40:00] investing in myself first, it was much easier to show up for other people.

And it was more impactful because I was showing up feeling whole and full and good and energized. And. That meant more and that had a greater impact than when I showed up burnt out, irritable, tired, and resentful towards those people. So, take the time, find a coach, find a supportive community, find what you need to help you be able to move forward.

Now, if you're are interested in working with me, I want to one coaching. I would love to talk with you and you can go to brave widow. com. There's a one on one coaching tab that you can click on to learn more and you can schedule a consult call for free. And I'd be happy to tell you about the coaching program and specifically based on what you share with me, how it could work for you and [00:41:00] how it could help transform you into the person that you want to become.

Are you a widow who feels disconnected? Do you feel like you're stuck or even going backwards in your grief? Widowhood can be lonely and isolating, but it doesn't have to be. Join us in the Brave Widow membership community and connect. We teach widows how to find hope, heal their heart, and dream again for the future.

Find your purpose and create a life you love today. Go to bravewidow. com to get started.

 

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